Disclaimer: I try to avoid complaining or having a negative tone in my posts, but this one walks the line. I completely recognize that our equipment needs are far less than many other families and don’t want to be insensitive to that fact. I’m simply a mom trying to honestly share my feelings, no matter how unjustified or selfish they might be.
My son needs some help to accomplish what’s easy and natural for most kids 
his age. We’ve learned a lot about the assistive technology (A/T) available to help him. The variety of offerings can be amazing and innovative. I’m so thankful that even though Gage can’t stand on his own yet, a stander gets him in a proper upright position and allows him some mobility. So why do I also fantasize about pushing that metal, padded, Velcro contraption off a cliff???
Each new piece of equipment we order comes with the excitement and hope that it’s going to make a big difference in Gage’s outcomes. God knows I’d do anything I could to help him and give him as many opportunities as possible. I love that I’m able to wheel him around the house with me while he stands or sits, that while wearing his AFOs, Gage has more confidence supporting his 
weight, and that an adaptive seat enables him to ride in the cart while I grocery shop. I know how lucky we are to have equipment that makes a difference in his life and I’m very thankful for that. Our early intervention program has been a HUGE blessing, frequently footing the bill for any equipment his therapists recommend. But I still get a knot in my stomach when I see the outrageous price tags on these items, knowing that G will soon age out of the program.
When new A/T arrives, our initial anticipation often turns into frustration with the design or functionality. Why isn’t this part adjustable? Couldn’t they have made it easier to clean? Why does it have to be so…freaking…HEAVY??? And while I’ve gotten better about managing my expectations, a new device never lives up to my unrealistic hopes of a magical fix for whatever issue we’re trying to address.
Deep down, I know the real reason for the love/hate relationship I have with Gage’s equipment, devices, braces, etc. As grateful as I am to have all these things to help him, I wish he didn’t need them. I want to snuggle his baby soft skin with no hard plastic or scratchy Velcro in the way. I want to get him 
dressed without forcing his limbs and joints to bend into the correct positions. I want to take him for a walk in the park without securing a dozen snaps, straps and buckles first. But in the end, I know how lucky I am that I get to do all of these things. It’s a privilege for me to raise this sweet boy. I’m so thankful he’s healthy enough to be outside. If a few extra steps or heavy lifting are what it takes for Gage to be able to do things that he otherwise couldn’t, then sign me up! It’s a small price to pay to see his adorable smile and hear his infectious giggle when the fresh air hits his face.
I have seen the equipment and tried to move it and wonder many the same things. Maybe it is a calling a mother’s perspective on making usable helpful devices. That isn’t wrong, it shouldn’t be frustrating. Like raising all children a mother wants ease of use and clean up and love/hate is real! Hee,hee. Makes one ask….how do we bring about change? Who are the makers of these devices?
Exactly, Donna! I’ve often wondered who makes them. If they only had a mom’s perspective, they would have done things so differently! I’m amazed at the differences between “baby” items and “special needs” items — baby items are usually much more user-friendly.