We just finished up our final session of OT through the First Steps program. I’m drying my eyes after hugging our therapist goodbye. First Steps has been such an incredible resource for us, but it’s sadly coming to an end as Gage will transition into the public school system’s early childhood program this fall. Change is hard!
I’m excited for Gage to start his new school year, and I’m expecting good things to come from that transition, but it doesn’t mean I won’t shed a few tears along the way. This season of life has me desiring to freeze time for a little bit. Not forever, of course, but I just wish I could press pause and soak up 
the way things are right now. I think many mommas can relate as kiddos head back to school or start kindergarten, etc. I can’t wait to see all the back to school pics that will undoubtedly fill up my newsfeed in the coming days and weeks!
Right now, I feel like our family is living in the sweet spot. It looks much different than I imagined, but I would say that in the grand scheme of things, I’m on a peak, not in a valley. Sure, there are challenges that come along with having a 3 and 1 year old, especially considering the extra help Gage requires and the independence Caleb demands but is not quite ready for. But how good things really are right now is not lost on me.
My thoughts about our future come with so many mixed emotions. It’s a strange spot to find myself in, balancing all the unknowns of what the future holds with the hopes and dreams I have for my family. I’m excited for Gage to continue developing and mastering new skills, no matter how slowly. I’m anxious to see how he’ll meet the new challenges he faces as he grows up. But anticipation for what’s next is also accompanied by the undeniable reality that some things will get harder as we go instead of easier. Right now, Gage is 
lightweight and lap-sized. So even though accessibility is already important to us, there are still ways to “make it work” when we have to. I know he’ll get bigger, which I hope means that I’ll get stronger, because I already feel aches in my back after a long day of carrying him around…and he’s still under 25 pounds! As he grows, his equipment will too, so it might be time for me to hit the gym!
Part of me would like to keep things just how they are for longer than I get to—things like therapy sessions on our living room floor instead of a clinic or school setting. But I think I’ll get used to whatever we need to do however we need to do it. We tend to find ways to settle in to our new normal. I remember when Caleb was brand new and the idea of leaving the house with two kids seemed so daunting. But once I did it and survived, I felt such a sense of relief! It’s amazing the freedom you can find with a double stroller and wide enough 
doorways. I also remember when Gage was brand new and Evan spent hours upon hours reading about CMV and the effects it can have, trying to get a glimpse of what our future might look like. I would remind him to enjoy Gage in that moment instead of trying to solve or fix things or worrying about what’s to come.
I guess I need to take my own advice and remember to enjoy my kids the way they are in the present. To soak up each stage that comes and goes as we’re in it. Maybe the sweet spot doesn’t have to be a fleeting moment, or something to hope for in the future. Perhaps it can be a lasting state of mind when you look at things with the right perspective. The phases ahead of us may not be easy, but that doesn’t mean they can’t still be good.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
“Yet God has made everything beautiful in its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.” Ecclesiastes 3:11-12