I pulled up in front of my friend’s house just as the rain started to fall. The boys and I had missed out on the Christmas parade we were trying to get to because I was running late as usual. Evan was busy that evening, so I was flying solo and totally underestimated the amount of time I needed to dress and load 2 boys into the car. I frantically tried to make my way to the parade, but kept running into cop cars blocking the route. My friends at the parade let me know it was short and sweet and said to just meet at their house instead. As I parked the car, I was mentally preparing a strategy to get both boys inside, keeping them somewhat dry, when my back door flew open. A 
friend grabbed Caleb’s car seat and asked what else he could take inside. Shortly after, another pal came out and scooped up Gage in her arms. I breathed a sigh of relief and ran inside behind the rest of the crew. This is just one of the many examples of our friends lending a helping hand.
When I first started connecting with other special needs parents, many of them echoed the same sentiment—that you need to gain a new group of friends because your old friends just won’t “get it.” While I appreciate that special needs parenting comes with different challenges than raising other kids, I thank God every day that this has not been our reality. Don’t get me wrong, advice and insight and just relating to other special needs parents has been invaluable on our journey. But luckily these new connections have only added to, and not replaced any friendships.
I credit this to the amazing group of friends that we have and what kind and caring people they are. I’ve always felt that one way God shows his love for us is by the people he places in our lives. He keeps proving that to me over and over again, whether it’s through my sisters who’ve known and supported me my whole life, an amazing man who turned into more than just a friend at the perfect time, or faithful friends who lovingly accept our entire family just the way we are. I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that Gage also deserves a lot of credit for our friends staying close. He is such a little charmer and irresistible, not just to me, but to so many people who know him!
Add-on advocates
We are lucky enough to have friends (family members are included in this category) who go out of their way to “get it.” They learn about Gage’s diagnosis and help spread the word to others. Their eyes are opened to new concerns that may never have occurred to them before. They become advocates by association simply because they love and care about our little guy.
Don’t miss it
At times, my friends even help me realize things that I might otherwise miss. I’ll share an experience about Gage with them, and their perspective on it reminds me just what an awesome kid he is! Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in all the dos and don’ts and responsibilities of parenting that we forget to just soak up and enjoy our kids’ unique qualities that make them who they are. I love being reminded of this through a friend’s outside perspective.
Get by with a little help
At other times, friends have helped pull me out of a dark place. Whether it’s through prayer, an encouraging text message or listening to me on a walk and not freaking out when I start to cry, I’ve felt supported and lifted up in so many ways by those around me. As I began to slowly realize Gage’s challenges weren’t something he would outgrow or get over, I slipped into depression. Without the friends sticking by my side I don’t know how I would have made it through. The isolation of 
raising a special needs child is real, but it doesn’t have to get the final say. We aren’t meant to do this life alone, regardless of our situation. You might be raising kids, caring for an aging parent, or just getting from one day to the next pulled in different directions by the demands of work, school, and the overall busyness of life. Thank God we can connect with each other and ask for help. And if we’re really lucky, we have friends who recognize our need for help before we even ask…and carry our kids inside through the rain.
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12